The Pettisnape Musical
by HermioneGrunge
Summary: An IMDB discussion inspired story. Snape and Peter live together. They really get on each others nerves! No real slash. Only slightly implied slash. Takes place during HBP. Spoilers.
1. Theme Song

A/N: LOL! I just had to write this after a little discussion with some HP fans on IMDB. All this happens DURING HBP and not after.

Disclaimer: All belongs to the Evil Genius - Rowling.

Chapter 1:

Theme song:

To the 'Friends' theme song:

Dedicated to Snape

So no one told you life was gonna be this way  
You're stuck in a cottage  
With Pettigrew everyday!

Its like your always stuck  
with double choices  
Well when you havent had to  
Save Harry, make vows or even brew potions...

Peter's there for you!  
When you talk to Death Eaters  
Peters there for you!  
To bring you your drinks  
Peters there for you!  
Cause if he werent  
He'd be killed.

Are you really evil  
Or is it just a game?  
Could it be that staying with Peter  
Has turned you gay?

Its like your always stuck  
with double choices  
Well when you havent had to  
Save Harry, make vows or even brew potions...

Peter's there for you!  
As he listens at the door  
Peter's there for you!  
When you curse him on the floor  
Peter's there for you!  
Cause if he werent  
He'd be killed.

* * *

Severus Snape was bored. The Dark Lord had not given him any work today and neither had Dumbledore. He was all alone at his filthy cottage with no one to keep him company except...

"Snape, you're sitting in my chair!"

"Pettigrew go find a hole and crawl into it."

"Stop talking to me like that. The Dark Lord didn't keep me here for you to be rude to me..."

"No...He kept you here to wait on me."

"No he didn't!"

Snape got up and laughed.

"But didnt you hear? I'm supposed to sing this to you when you disobey me."

Snape cleared his throat and began to sing

(To the tune of 'Take on Me' by A-ha)

You will be talking away  
Im don't know what  
I'm to say I'll say it anyway  
Today's another day to find you  
Shying away  
So you're to wait on me, OK?

(Snape begins to dance)

"Wait on me!"  
(Wait on me)  
"Wait me on!"  
(Wait on me)  
I'll be gone  
In a day or two

So needless to say  
I want sherry and rum  
But that's medrinking away  
Slowly learning that life is sucky.  
Say after me  
It's no better to be safe than sorry

"Wait On Me!"  
(Wait on me)  
"Wait me on!"  
(Wait on me)  
I'll be gone  
In a day or two

Peter burst into tears.

Next Chapter: The Unbreakable Vow


	2. They Can Think?

A/N: I got reviews? seriously? I wrote this crappy story because i was in a funny mood! LOL!

**vashsunglasses: **LOL! did you really do that? thats pretty cool of ya:):):).

**MysticStampede: **Your wish is my command

Disclaimer: All is owned by Evil Rowling. And tunes to songs are owned by their respective composers.

Chapter 2: They Can Think?

* * *

"Oh stop crying, rat boy" said Snape rolling his eyes. "You remind me of Longbottom sometimes." 

Peter stopped crying and raised his eyebrows.

Just then there was a knock on the door.

Snape looked at Peter. "Are you going to get that?"

Peter looked as though he was about to obey Snape for a moment, but instead of answering the door, he stepped towards the bookcase which hid his room and disappeared behind it.

Snape rolled his eyes. _'I have to do everything'_ he thought

Snape opened the door to find Narcissa Malfoy on the threshold.

"_Oh great._" he thought, sarcastically. _'Its a good thing i'm a good actor.' _

Snape feigned a look of pleasant surprise and opened the door wider.

"Narcissa!" he said "What a pleasant surprise!"

But what he was really thinking "_Why is it that everytime Malfoy is gone, is wife comes crying to me? Am i some kind of an agony aunt? I mean come on!"_

'Severus,' said Narcissa 'May i speak to you? Its urgent.'

'But of course.' said Snape while thinking _'When is it ever **not** urgent?' _

Another figure passed Narcissa and entered Snapes house.

"Snape," said the figure in a curt voice.

"Bellatrix," said Snape with a mocking smile "_Stupid uninvited guest!" _he thought.

Meanwhile, back in his room behind the bookshelf, Wormtail was listening at the door.

_"Hmmm"_ he thought _"That sounds like Narcissa...and i wonder who is with her..." _

As if in answer to his question, Snape took away the bookcase illusion and revealed the open door into Pettigrews chambers.

"As you have clearly realised, Wormtail, we have guests,"

_"Yes"_ thought Wormtail _"Interesting ones. Maybe i shall listen at the door later...they're bound to say some interesting stuff. Like maybe one of them likesme!"_

And Peter smoothened his hair (whatever was left of it) on his brainless head and said "Narcissa! and Bellatrix! How charming-'

But before he could finish, he was rudely interuppted by Sevvie

"Wormtail will get us drinks if you'd like them," he said "And then he will return to his bedroom."

Wormtail looked at Snape. It looked as though Snape was humming the 'Wait on Me' song in his head.

"I am not your servent!" said Wormtail

_"No, you are my waiter!"_ thought Snape. But out loud he said "Really? I was under the impression that the Dark Lord placed you here to assist me."

"_Ufff_" thought Peter. "To assist, yes-but not to make you drinks and - and clean your house!'

"I had no idea, Wormtail, that you were craving more dangerous assignments,' said Snape 'This can be easily arranged: I shall speak to the Dark Lord -'

"I can speak to him myself if i want to!"

"Of course you can" said Snape. But he was really thinking "_Of course you cant, you bald rat_"

"But in the mean time," Snape continued "bring us drinks. Some of the elf made wine will do."

Peter hesitated for a moment, but then hastened to do the task. He didnt particularly want Snape to sing "Wait on Me".

While in the kitchen, making the drinks. There seemed to be only one thing going through Peters mind.

(To the tune of 'Just you wait 'enry Iggins' from My Fair Lady)

_Just you wait Sevvy Snape  
Just you wait  
You'll be sorry  
But you're tears will be too late_

_You'll be dead; I'll be happy  
Will I miss you?Don't be crappy!  
Just you wait, Sevvy Snape, just you wait!  
Just you wait, 'Sevvy Snape, till you're in a fix,  
And you scream to fetch Ol' Voldie double-quick.  
I'll be off a second later And go straight to Harry Potter!  
Oh ho ho, 'Sevvie Snape, just you wait!  
Ooooooh 'Sevvie Snape! _

Meanwhile, while Peter was making the drinks, For no apparant reason, Sevvie was thinking:

(To the tune of 'It's a Small World After All')

_it's a world of imperio's, a world or tears  
its a world of crucio's, its a world of fear  
theres so much that we scare  
that its time we're beware  
its a cursed world after all _

its a cursed world after all  
its a cursed world after all  
its a cursed world after all  
its a cursed, cursed world

Okay i know i said the vows would be in this chapter, but i think that'll be the next chappie.


End file.
